Warning!

Consumption of Alcohol:

- may make you think you are whispering when you are not
- is a major factor in dancing like a wanker
- may cause you tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in
- may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning
- may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers
- may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting
- may make you think you possess mystical kung-fu powers
- may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary(whose species, and/or name you can't remember
- is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead
- may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home
- may lead you to believe you are invisible
- may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you
- may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small and sometimes large gaps of time may seem to literally disappear